Since I have had nothing to do but sit around for a while and recover from my recent extended stay in the hospital (which I will get into at a later entry), I have had a lot of time for some personal reflection. It has culminated in the realization that when it comes to relationships, I tend to mess everything up. A lot. Thus, I figured I would be proactive and list a few apologies/excuses/answers here so that in my next relationship they may be credited unto me. I think it will save me and her a lot of trouble, for I plan, when I first meet her, to give her the URL of this very entry to make the transition into the relationship, and the relationship itself, a lot smoother. Now, without further ado, here is the brief list:
“Honey, I swear I just read it for the articles.”
“Nah, don’t be ridiculous. It doesn’t make you look fat.”
“No way! She is NOT as pretty as you!”
“Yes dear.”
“It wasn’t me. Someone obviously hit your car in the Safeway parking lot and took off. Don‘t bother calling the police, they’re obviously long gone.”
“Wait, I wouldn’t go in there just yet. Give it a minute or two.”
“Hey, it happens to every guy once and a while.”
“Babe, I realize I messed up, but you know, as far as bail goes, its really not that expensive.”
“Yes sweetie, I promise never to refer to your mother as a mangy, scabies infested canine-like creature ever again.”
Finally:
“I’m sorry.”
And in case it doesn’t work out:
“Its not you, its me.”
