I don't know what it is, but something strange is occurring within our world. I believe that mystical forms of divination and the abundant increase in the popularity of certain online MMORPG's has caused a portal to open, a great rift between reality and the fantastic, where strange, wonderful, yet frightening creatures are now able to move back and forth freely between our world and theirs. A few examples of this rift being crossed are provided below:
"March, 2008 (AP) BILLINGS, Mont. A man told police not to blame him for crashing his truck into a light post - it was that unicorn behind the wheel. Prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist said Phillip C. Holliday Jr. initially denied driving the truck involved in the March 7 crash in Billings. He told officers at the scene that a unicorn was driving, she said.
Holliday, 42, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving.
A pickup truck drove through a red light and nearly struck another truck in the intersection, according to court documents. The driver then made an erratic U-turn through a gas station, crossed the street and crashed into a light pole. Nobody was injured.
Holliday has five drunken-driving convictions. District Judge Gregory Todd kept his bail at $100,000 despite his lawyer arguing that Holliday's last such conviction was 14 years ago."
This is exactly why friends don't let friends let drunk Unicorns behind the wheel. First off, its lack of opposable thumbs can be an issue and unless you have a convertible or a sunroof to accommodate the Unicorn, its driving ability is going to be hindered by its horn. Your best bet is to take a cab, but bring extra money, for Unicorns are notorious for being bad tippers.
This next one is from my home state of Washington. Why aren't I surprised?
By Rachel Schleif
Wenatchee World
"WENATCHEE -- A 29-year-old Wenatchee man told police a pterodactyl caused him to drive his car into a light pole about 11:30 p.m. Thursday.
Wenatchee police cited the man with first-degree negligent driving. A breathalyzer test showed "a minimal amount of alcohol," said Wenatchee police Sgt. Cherie Smith.
Witnesses told police the man was northbound on Wenatchee Avenue and drifted into a southbound lane for less than a block. Oncoming traffic stopped and waited for the man to pass, Smith said.
He then totaled his car on a light pole, Smith said.
When police asked the man what caused the accident, his one-word answer was "pterodactyl," Smith said. A pterodactyl was a giant winged reptile that lived more than 65 million years ago.
The man was treated and released at Central Washington Hospital, hospital officials said."
Thursday, 18 October 2007 17:14
"A man in the US state of Ohio was in court after he was found naked in someone else's car.
According to the Cincinnati Enquirer newspaper, 36 year-old Kim Joseph LeBlanc told police a leprechaun had let him into the car belonging to Nicholas Donohue.
Mr Donohue found the suspect in his car naked from the waist down and the car's speakers ripped out.
Mr LeBlanc continued his strange behaviour during a court appearance today when he walked into the courtroom carrying a roll of toilet paper and a plastic air-sickness type of bag.
He is charged with public indecency and criminal damaging and a judge ordered him to be held on $2,000 (€1400) bond." --RTE News
Amazing, but its not the first time a Leprechaun has been in the news. I believe Leprechauns to be responsible for opening the great portal within their dimension.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
"A man accused of robbing a Belfast lingerie shop at knifepoint has fallen back on a time honoured defence – namely, his claim that he believed he was a female elf at the time.
Belfast Crown Court was told by the prosecution that 45-year-old Robert Boyd from Broadlands, Carrickfergus had held up the shop, Orchid, while disguised in a wig, hat and sunglasses. He allegedly made off with bras, knickers, stockings and suspender belts.
However, Boyd's defence maintain that at the time, Boyd believed that he was a elf, having been playing the cyberpunk role-playing game Shadowrun.
More specifically, he believed that he was a female shaman (meaning a natural magic user) elf named Beho, and that he thought he was armed with a samurai sword. Boyd admits that he may have 'blurred reality and fantasy'.
He also claims that he can not remember the details of the incident.
While Boyd maintains that he is innocent of the crime, he admits that he can't be sure that the metahuman Beho did not plan to rob the store.
The prosecution are sceptical of these claims, and suggest that Boyd/Beho is 'using this memory loss scenario to avoid answering very difficult questions.'" --Metro.co.uk
My friends, this threat of mystical creatures and prehistoric animals presents a clear and present danger to the sanctity of our world - including Harrison Ford. All mankind must gather together to find a solution to this momentous problem and close the mystical rift once and for all! Godspeed.
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