Max Payne: "There's an army of bodies under this river, people who ran out of time, out of friends. I could feel the dead down there, reaching up to welcome me as one of their own. It was an easy mistake to make. "
Rated PG-13: For violence and being the worst action movie since "Live Free or Die Hard".
Staring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Ludacris and Chris O'Donnell
Based on the 2001 video game of the same name, many gamers were stoked over this game-to-movie adaption that perhaps had the potential of equaling the early Die Hard's in terms of their action sequences. The games dark plot and vigilante style justice at the hands of the lead character Max Payne, was enticing to many, so when the first teasers and ads appeared showing an even more dark and supernatural eerie feel, it certainly looked as if Max Payne would live up to its potential and perhaps even surpass it. I mean surely, with the game that pioneered the "bullet time" feature frequent in a lot of games now, it would have to be a sensational show...
Mark Wahlberg stars as Max Payne, a cop in the NYPD, whose wife Michelle and newborn baby are murdered by would-be robbers hopped up on a new drug called Valkyr. Payne walks in ten minutes too late and kills two, but one perp unfortunately escapes. After the murders Payne moves to the Cold Case department and keeps an eye out for leads as he files away papers during the day, yet he spends his nights moonlighting as a vigilante, without the benefit of Bruce Willis or Cybill Shepherd. He dives deep into the seedy underbelly of New York Cities drug culture, while bent on revenge and occasionally forcing information out of whoever he can concerning exactly who it is that is responsible for killing his wife and child.
Along the way he is assisted by BB Hensley(Beau Bridges), an ex co-worker of Michelle's who is the head of security at Aegis Pharmaceuticals and a Russian hit woman Mona Sax(Mila Kunis). The movie starts off quickly and in some movies that works, but not so much in this case, for there really isn't any relationship between characters to speak of and you can't really identify with Max Payne's character at all, for there is almost no time for character development. The game does a much better job at portraying the story and background of Max Payne, than this trash movie. Furthermore, the plot just sucks and I had it figured out in about twenty minutes, so the rest of the movie I spent shaking my head and laughing at the supposed "twists" they kept trying to throw in.
A couple of the action sequences were great and the cinematography/special effects were incredible, but the acting, though not terrible wasn't exactly impressive. A couple action scenes are reminiscent of "Die Hard," however these mainly occur at the end and it just can't carry the whole crappy ass movie. Moreover, whatever you may be expecting from synopsis's you read online, or the ads or trailers, they are completely misleading and what you may be expecting isn't at all what it turns out to be. All the best parts are in the ad, so don't waste your money. If you want a real Max Payne experience, go get the game. When even gamers are leaving the theatre saying the movie sucked, you know its bad; real bad. I, for one, wanted to give my promotional poster back. Max Payne receives one out of four mediocre private detective agencies. Terrible movie, terrible.
"Max Payne" opens today in theaters nationwide to aid in the dumbing down of our country.
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