This week the FBI abandoned Mary-Kate Olson in their so-called "investigation" into Heath Ledger's death. I guess its pretty common for the FBI to subpoena someone to stand before a Grand Jury, review immunity options with them, spend time, effort and tax dollars to investigate an alleged illegal connection with both narcotics and the death of a celebrity; and then just shrug it off. I'm sure it happens all the time. I won't say positively that there is any special treatment going on here for Mary-Kate, but at the very least it does seem a little odd.
All this build up gets bloggers like me all excited, and then to have it just dropped without any is such a let down. I wanted someone to burn, and if that someone was Mary-Kate, oh, could you imagine the blogging opportunities? Mmmmm...yes, truly delicious. Yet, now I must seek more inane issues, like monsters washing up in Montauk to satisfy my blog fetish. Thanks FBI. Not since The X-Files: I Want To Believe has the FBI let me down so much. I hope they just keep me in the loop when Miley Cyrus's money laundering/counterfeit scheme is uncovered.
Something has to be behind the FBI's decision though. Lack of evidence? No, thats never stopped them before. Murdered witness? Hmmmmm...much more likely. I never really trusted the Olson twins come to think of it, and I could see them killing to save their own skin, or at least hiring a hit man to take care of their dirty work. They sure have the money. On that note; perhaps an old fashioned bribe from the collective funds of their fragrance, make-up, and Walmart clothing line (I'm sure these aren't the only lines Mary-Kate is into). Wow, and here I thought that Walmart was just for hating on far-left democrats, buying Halloween candy, cheap DVD's, fresh undergarments and abandoning unwanted children. I was sadly mistaken. Apparently, the Olson twins also make a...(wait for it...), a killing there.
Nice.
Is it really any wonder that the Olson twins got into, not only murder, but also make-up. I mean, Mary-Kate sounds a little too much like Mary Kay to be just a coincidence. I believe this whole make-up thing was actually decreed at conception and that several companies, including Walmart, have had a hand in their development; actually purchasing the two shortly after their birth and slowly conditioning them into making a profitable line of make-up and horrible clothing. Think about it. I don't know about you, but it bugs me out.
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