On The Montauk Monster

This is the photo that started it all. The new internet phenomenon and media sensation that is the Montauk Monster. Not much is known about the story, however a couple details have emerged about the strange creature. A woman named Jenna Hewitt and three friends were supposedly enjoying a day at the beach when they walked up upon this unidentified creature. They surrounded it and took several pictures of the animal, or whatever it is. The carcass, all 2 1/2 to 3 feet of it, now has, conveniently it seems, disappeared in the hands of an undisclosed group of special scientists. The field of cryptozoology is currently abuzz with excitement about the animal, but I think some people may be getting their hopes up for nothing. I believe it to be a model, and the not the kind that frequently inhabit the beaches of the Hamptons, but rather something made of plastic and latex, or whatever one uses to fake a disgusting, rotting pig monster. I will inquire of this at Home Depot when I am there later. However, if indeed it is biological, its an assortment of animal parts slapped on the body of a pig-like animal to satisfying someone's sick, twisted desire to fool thousands of strangers. It wouldn't be the first time it has happened and I'm sure if P.T. Barnum was still around he would be jumping for the joy at the opportunity to buy another creature to be housed in a dimly lit traveling shed drawing thousands of curious onlookers to take a peek at the enigmatic figure for 10 dollars a pop.

But wait! There's more!

Some additional photos have surfaced in the last couple of days, supposedly taken by one Christina Pampalone. She says these photos were taken even before the originally released photo, though how she knows this is as unknown as the Monster is.

As you see there are some obvious differences from the the original photo and this one. Now the figure seems to be taking on a blue hue, though if this was truly taken before, perhaps the creature in the original photo had just got a nice golden brown tan from the Montauk sun. In the latter pictures though its almost as pasty as I am.


Also, it seems to have sprouted quite a bit more hair, as well as changed positions. Though, perhaps some bikini clad beach beauty decided to turn its head and position it on its belly after this pictures were taken. Who knows? One thing I do know is that whatever is depicted is a male.


Now, I am not poking fun at those who subscribe to a cryptozoological theory about the origins of the animal, in fact, I myself find cryptozoology to be a fascinating topic. However, I don't believe this animal to be a true cryptid, though I am frequently wrong about things, and I suspect the photo might not have even been taken in Montauk. The photos contain no characteristics that one may use to distinguish where the picture was actually taken. This could be on purpose, cause who wouldn't want their picture taken with a parrot-pig monster, with the blue surf of Montauk lapping at the shore in the background? Would there ever be again such a beautiful photo? I think not.

In addition, new eyewitness accounts have come forward, alleging that the strange creature was seen in the months prior to this discovery. Alive no less, walking along the shores of Long Island. Well, except one guy says he actually buried one, though he hasn't come forward to dig it back up to settle the debate. I find these accounts to be highly suspect though, for nothing like this has ever, as far as I can tell, been reported in the annals of cryptozoology and you would think that within a well populated area as the Hamptons of Long Island, New York, such a thing may have been seen before. Its only after these photo's appear that these accounts come forward. One thing has not come to light though; the whereabouts of the creature itself. Nobody working at a college lab, the Smithsonian or any scientific organization has come forward to say they are currently conducting extensive tests on the animal to determine its identity and origin. Even though, as I recall, the initial account states that the creature was taken by scientists for identification. So in conclusion, I feel this will turn out to be a huge hoax, or at the very least be a photo taken of the resort beach featured in the brochure of the vacations of Chernobyl.