There is a very specific formula to most movies and this formula can easily be deduced when you have no friends, life and nothing better to do than sit around, watch movies and write on blogs. Therefore, here are the movie cliches that I find most annoying:
Number one, the worst out of all of them, is movies don't like to give a good concrete ending anymore. They always need to leave movies open for a sequel now. Even the crappy ones.
In movies featuring the supernatural there is always one character who is the skeptic. More often than not, this cliche is manifest in the spouse, usually the husband, parents or friends. In the instances of friends being skeptics, however, this tends to mean that they are going to die.
Several movies recently have featured a character that is the representation of another characters split personality.
Movies centered around natural disasters.
Scenes that feature a hand bursting forth from dirt or various debris.
Movies that feature aliens. Nice work George Lucas, really stretching your creative process there.
Movies that center around ghosts and other paranormal phenomenon.
Chances are, the first time you kill something in a movie, its not going to stay dead.
I have to say it: Pixar movies. I know, I liked Finding Nemo too, but Pixar movies have a very cliche-ish feel to them now.
Movies based on video games.
"Children of the Corn" Movies. Oh, just stop it! Stop!
“Saw.” Yeah, torture. Got it. Thanks. Done.
Movies based around gruesome torture.
Bad guys frequently need to be maimed at least 3 times by some circumstance or object to a degree that would kill a normal human being. Only after this can they possibly be killed.
The killer, monster, demon or spirit frequently has as special effect sound which announces its presence to the audience. Often before any present characters within the film are aware of them.
Scary reflections. If your being chased by a ghost, chances are you will catch glimpses of them in a store, building or vehicle window.
If your shutting your medicine cabinet, the ghost terrorizing you is going to appear in the mirror behind you. Of course when you turn around it won’t be there.
Ghost children.
Ghosts of Asian descent.
In the good old days ghost’s didn’t like their picture taken, however, now in movies they love to appear in videos and pictures.
Characters running handheld movie camera’s.
The dream sequence.
Fog.
Don’t just knock the bad guy out and try to free your friends. Kill the bastard. No? Ok then…you deserve to die.
The hero is always a sharpshooter no matter what weapon he is using.
The killers death blow is usually shown on the wall in shadow implicitly rather than showing it explicitly.
If the hero is up against anyone with a machine gun, it will be our hero with the berretta that comes out on top, usually making the opponent cower behind an obstacle.
If you’re a minority in a horror film, I’m sorry, but chances are you won’t be coming out alive.
People being hit by cars, bouncing off the hood, against the windshield and smashing it, but just getting up and walking away, or even continuing to chase those they were in pursuit of when the accident first occurred.
Someone jumping onto a car hood, sliding over it by utilizing their butt.
Nobody ever turns on the lights in the room in scary movies. Flip on a damn light switch.
The power and/or phone lines have been cut.
A flashlight always goes out despite the frequent smacking of it, which may give off a brief beam of light, but in the end the flashlight completely dies.
A flashlight will miraculously come back on once the supernatural activity ceases.
In an effort to make a movie without clichés, they have now created another one. The clever twist at the end, although it works in some movies, in others it does not. The twist will reveal details that are not shown during the preceding film, but instead are flash backed to at the climax, indicating how these minute details unfolded to reach the pinnacle. The result is a feeling that movie goers should have just watched the beginning and the end of the film, for everything else in between essentially becomes a waste of time.
The bad guy will always reveal his plan just before he is going to kill everybody. Of course, then there is a remarkable escape, the enemy is defeated and everyone knows exactly what he did, how he did it and why.
If you are a jerk, bully frat guy in a slasher movie...yeah, your going to die.
All monsters that are killing tens, hundreds or thousands of people always, according to some character in authority, need to be taken alive for study or the possibility of turning it into a biological weapon.
The character who tells the soon to be killed people to stay out of a particular area is never listened to, with foreseeable results.
There are just way too many movie plots featuring a group of people trapped/barricaded within a building.
Monsters are either being created by, or wanting to be used by the military.
Cars that slam into objects at high speed during a chase scene, are in the next scene miraculously repaired.
Cars hitting an object dead on, but somehow flipping over it, often somersaulting back down to the pavement. Such events would require divine intervention to occur.
People blowing up vehicles with a single gunshot.
Fact: Cars will not start when there is a murderer around.
The illogical change of scenery: When a character is running through a city street, and in the next scene is in a thick forest. Why is there a forest in the middle of Detroit?
Night time outdoor scenes with bright floodlights off camera lighting the scene.
Daylight not so subtly disguised as moonlight or starlight by hardly effective camera filters.
On occasion, someone will grab a characters shoulder out of nowhere, the music loudly announcing it, scaring the audience. The character whips around to find a friend, lover or family member instead of the killer, beast or entity. (if the person having her shoulder touched is a female she will usually respond by exclaiming the persons name and almost playfully hitting them) Chances are that the person who grabbed their shoulder will be the next person to die.
Scenes like a remote control falling on the ground that are used to scare the audience, through loud sound effects, making them jump, but in actually have no relevance to the plot whatsoever.
A Killer will frequently know their way around a complete strangers house better then the owner themselves.
There is always someone going back for the dog. I say f#@% the dog.
Random outbursts of dance are usually beautifully choreographed and orchestrated.
Sarcastic clapping. In many movies there always seems to be one guy in the background who sarcastically claps when one of the main characters makes a statement which may be open to mockery. (Alright, maybe not always, but it does happen from time to time.)
The slow clap.
Using pencils or pens as weapons.
The mother is always to blame for the killers relentless disposition on killing people.
People always reach for the most useless of possible weapons. Sword? No. Gun? No. Oh, I know; Fireplace poker!
Fireplace pokers being used as weapons.
Why do people always choose to run to the darkest, most secluded places where there is no hope for defense, rescue or peaceful resolution.
Dragons can only be killed in a spot where a scale is missing. Usually located on the underbelly of the creature.
Phrases that mean the character is going to die: “Hello?" "Where is everybody?” “It’s just the wind.” “I will be right back.” “I need to check on something real quick.”
Phrases meaning that your in deep trouble: “I think that we/you have mice in the walls.” (Its never just a mouse or a rat)
Overly Frequent Phrases: “Are you ok?” “Did you see that?” “Stand back.” “Quick! We have to get him/her to a hospital!”
Overly Frequent Paniced Phrases: “Leave him/her!” “Go, go, go!”(one "go" will not suffice.) “Get down!”
When a bomb is featured in a movie it will alway come down to the character who sometimes happens to be a bomb expert, but even if they aren't they will become one anyway. In addition, there are always two wires, never more, and the character often struggles with what wire to cut, until he cuts it with just three seconds to go. Always the right wire of course.
Bombs always get defused with only a few seconds left. Never will you see a bomb defused with 12 minutes left on the clock.
Awkward Love Affair: When two characters somehow connect while a killer is chasing them, or while they are held hostage, or after a monster has devoured their friends, or as they lay dying…finally confessing their love to one another.
Clint Eastwood movies. They usually have a horrid, depressing ending and you wind up just wanting to shoot yourself after the movie is over. (A Perfect World, Mystic River, Million Dollar Baby…)
Stephen King’s psychic children. Several of Stephen King movies feature a child with extra sensory perception. (The Langoliers, Dreamcatcher, The Shining…)
Group Seperation. 20 people can get picked off one by one in a slasher movie, often times with the characters even knowing about the slasher. Nobody ever stays as a group. They are usually seperated by either a couple sneaking off to do the deed, someone having to releave himself, or someone investigating a strange noise.
Typecasting: Often you can tell who the bad guy is in a mystery/thriller movie, just by the type of roles the cast has played before. Another way to tell is the actor/actress who plays the bad guy will usually be the third person in the credits. (I.E. Kiss The Girls: Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd, Carey Elwes) So when you see them in the film, chances are they are the killer.
People in movies easily finding the car keys within the car interior itself. (Visor, glove box…)
The person giving you directions is either the murder himself or in cahoots with the murderer leading you unto your death.
Incestuous , murderous, boil ridden, wilderness wandering nomads that kill for sport.
When a person has sex in a movie, their chances of dying before the final credits roll rises 75 percent.
Below is a short clip that features several of the most annoying movie cliches; ones that I'm too lazy to write down. Posting this video is much easier.
Annoying TV Cliche: No matter what sitcom there is always an episode where one or several of the main characters are trapped in an elevator, broom closet or other room. The people in the rooms relationship will be one of these: A) The people in the room do not get along with one another. B) There is a romantic interest between those in the room. C) One person will be claustrophobic. D) There will be a pregnant woman.
No comments:
Post a Comment